Forgive me but I must get this off my heart I've been holding it in for 5 straight months of…

Forgive me but I must get this off my heart I've been holding it in for 5 straight months of pregnancy completely on my own, happy for everyone else I see here only to cry alone to myself at night. But now I have to accept that I need support and can't do this on my own. I'm having the hardest time in my life... Left an abusive marriage just to find out I was pregnant later on. He's pressured and threatened me everyday in every way in getting an abortion. But after 2 previous forced procedures I can't I just can't I can't even forgive myself even though at the time I felt I didn't have a choice due to his abusive nature. Because of this choice he has voiced that regardless of our severance he wants nothing to do with the baby and I am completely alone in this; that I'm responsible and at fault for everything that will happen because I chose not to k--l it. He has terminated all benefits because they were under his name because I wouldn't be forced this time. I can't explain the depth of pain, depression... I literally have no words right now...