So I've mentioned before that I have disabilities. One is physical but most of my disabilities are…

So I've mentioned before that I have disabilities. One is physical but most of my disabilities are mental.

I don't generally bring them up because society has stigmatized people with mental illnesses as crazy people, people just being over dramatic or people who just need to "get over it". These stigmas and many others like them make the task of simply living a normal life much harder on those of us who suffer.

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It's just not talked about very much. And I understand why. Mental health issues cover a huge spectrum of issues and complications. And because you can't usually just look at someone and know they have a disability it becomes hard to understand. As humans I think we try to keep away from what we don't understand. But I absolutely must say that it's just wrong. I know this is a pregnancy app but I'm so upset I need to vent.

I was first diagnosed with a mental health issue in 8th grade. I was probably 13. My mom put me in therapy and after 2 sessions (which are only an hour long) she told me that "I wasn't getting better quick enough so I don't get therapy anymore" 2 sessions. 2 hours. That was all I got. I was expected to be cured of a disorder I had suffered from my entire life in 2 hours. And when that didn't happen it was my fault and treatment ended.

As I got older I had more and more issues. I became unable to just hold it together. I had break downs, I was constantly hospitalized, I attempted suicide because I absolutely believed that to finally get out of my own mind was the best choice I had. Still I wasn't allowed treatment and I felt like an outcast. I ran to another state. I got myself in drugs and a lot of trouble. And when I finally came home I came home with a heroin addiction. My life was out of control and I just felt worse and worse. I tried suicide again. I don't remember much about that day honestly. I had decided to overdose on heroin. I shot up enough to kill a horse. I woke up days later in the hospital. A friend I hadn't seen in about a year was in my room. He said he had just had an urge to come see me and he found me unconscious in the driveway and took me to the hospital. I don't believe in God but I do think the universe had a plan to do such a thing. I got put in special rehab for people with issues. They started me in therapy. I felt immediately better. I was surrounded by other people who completely understood me. They knew my pain. They knew how horrible I felt and how powerless I felt I'd become.

I got on meds. I got referred to therapists when they let me out. And I have been so much better. I was given a clarity I had never experienced in my life before. I had my mind back. I still have a long way to go but that's ok. I spent 20 years having no control over my mind or thoughts so now that I do its a little scary almost. Most people figure themselves out at a much younger age and I am just starting to put myself together now. But I'm getting there.

I'm in no legal trouble now. I have almost 2 years clean from heroin. I have not been hospitalized since my suicide attempt. I still see therapists. And I'm happy.

This was not something I could just get over. It was not something I did for attention. I am not crazy. I have an illness. If you don't treat an illness it gets worse. And many will take your life. Mental illness is no different. I share my story in hopes that I can help someday stop the stigmas. People with mental illness just want to feel normal. That's it. And being cast aside doesn't help. We need sympathy and understanding and patience because when our minds don't work it becomes seemingly impossible to do anything at all.

I decided to share this because I went to a party today. And my uncle was there. I'm not close to my uncle really but I know we suffer from the same mental illness. My uncle is much older than me. I'm 22 and he is 52. And he is just getting treatment as of this year. And I am so unbelievably happy for him. I can't imagine how he made it so long. I don't know that I could. I think I would not have been strong enough and I would have found a way to end my life. But not my uncle. He made it. And has been brave enough to recently seek help. And while treatment is great my uncle is still struggling. A lot. I have faith that he will be OK but I know the struggle he is fighting and I hurt for him. And while I was at this party I heard my own family making fun of him. I heard them say he's weak. That he's just a waste. I even heard someone tell there child to go the other way because "the crazy man" was over there.

I have never been so angry. He is not crazy. He's hurting. And things like that are only making it worse.

I know this is long but please remember that people are not just crazy because of mental illness. It really can just take a bit of understanding for us to start healing. Please.