anybody else raised to do for yourself and not rely on nobody? that's how I was raised. my husband…

anybody else raised to do for yourself and not rely on nobody? that's how I was raised. my husband and his brother on the other hand were raised where their parents do all for them bc "family takes care of each other". I thought it was really nice and sweet till I realize that all they have done is enable lazy dependent men. I will say my husband has grown so much and is changing. I'm just confused about what the "right"way to raise my kids is.