#LateNightStory

So lately been on mind how I don't feel like myself just yet. I've been looking forward to it and rather patiently waiting. It's been 2.5 mo 😕 hmmm is it ever coming back or need more time...and then it just hit me! It has all changed! Everything has changed...I have changed big time. Made me reminisce of my old self and life... That lead to this story. My hubby and I been together for 7.5 yrs now and pretty much opted out not having kids & every year or so we would kind of review that decision. Although we both love kids I was pretty keen on sticking to it due to difficulty it would pose for me b/c of some health issues. (Nothing major) but because I am a perfectionist type I didn't want to settle for nothing less than how it's supposed to be. Also I am very much of a free spirit and kind of wild at heart so having kids would mean giving up my freedom that I cherish so much. We traveled lots and have little pooch so I was perfectly happy, I didn't really want any more serious responsibilities...but I have to admit it did trigger a little motherly desire after being part of our friends little ones lives and my bff had a baby...and so many girls I knew had babies in 2013. It was happening....lol everyone was doing it 😝😉😉 lol but still we didn't jump on the band wagon and didn't plan a thing. Then miraculously // against all odds we find out we're pregnant 😳 omg woah!!! We felt blessed! The feeling was amazing but very scary for me at the same time! Hubby couldn't be happier as I know he secretly hoped that one day we would end up with a child. Of course I was happy too...do I like surprises?? Like this hmm I donno..I feel like so much mental preparation needed to be in place first😩....oh la laaaaa🙆🏼 but I was thankful 🙏🏼 did I mention scared! To a far extend in reality I was actually always aware that having a child is no way a walk in the park...and no easy job! In fact I think it's THE hardest job ever! And me being perfectionist that I am I kinda doubted myself can I measure up to be a great parent. Can I sacrifice all required to be a parent??!! Wow! This was huge for me. I have to admit that the 9mo of pregnancy still have not prepared me for it mentally. I mean I wasn't freaking out or anything but just couldn't gasp how big of a responsibility I am about to embark on. phew! So here I am. God has blessed me with the most amazing baby ever created by mankind 😍👶🏽 hehe of course I will feel that way--and of course every parent is allowed to think that way and m sure they do! He fills my heart with love I never knew existed...his smile melts my heart to point of happy tears every day....I love everything about him...he is the cutest & sweetest baby...he is smart already.. Oh I know he understands me 😉 I bring the little vitamin D bottle close to his mouth and say ready,opeeen! And he opens his mouth😩 and makes a face too cause he's cheeky like that...and he's my baby 😍 I love him to bits. So I realized...no I'll never feel like myself again...it will never come back....because my life has changed forever!!! I am now a most important role in someone's life...oh gosh that's so huge, my son's life. His mother!

So this was just a short story type of my writing

There is few points that can be discussed separately and on a different level.

•Lili Nessa