This post is really personal and really makes me a little sensitive so please while I would…
This post is really personal and really makes me a little sensitive so please while I would appreciate the comments don't be rude. I've asked this question other places and just gotten mean comments instead of answers.
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I was a rape victim while I was growing up. I was drugged and raped by my best friends father for a long time. Thankfully he was taken to court by the state and will never be free again [though personally I'm for the death penalty for people who hurt children] I have been to many therapists and I still go.
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But here's my question. I had to sit through a rape prevention and statistics class thing once in school. And they told us that children whose parent/s were sexually assaulted or raped have more than double the chance of being victims themselves someday. [I don't remember the exact statistics I wanna say it was like 80% more likely] this scares me alot. I hate that because this terrible thing happened to me it has the ability to affect our daughter. I'm curious as to why exactly the likelihood doubles? Will I have to be twice as vigilant as other parents just to keep my daughter safe? Is it just a thing he doomed her for that I can't stop? I guess I just don't understand and I was told that statistic when I was so young I can't put all the pieces together. It frightens me. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and certainly not my daughter. I feel like I failed as a parent before she was even conceived :/
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I know it's possible to go through those issues and turn out ok. I like to think that I did. But I struggled so freaking hard I can't even begin to explain what was going on in my head. I was always in trouble at school. I got a phobia of public bathrooms... well any bathroom :/ I was suspended alot. Always grounded. Became sexually active way to young. I developed a drug problem as I got older that almost killed me. I've tried to kill myself multiple times [and while I don't believe in a god I was saved both times in situations I shouldn't have been] I was a mess. I got so crazy I was cut off from all my family. I'm proud to say I'm OK now. I still see therapists but I'm doing ok. But I feel like I doomed my daughter to the same life and I get scared because I just barely made it through. I would be so frightened that she wouldn't.
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I've had people tell me this is a stupid irrational fear but I can't help it. I'm not sure how to handle it. It's making me second guess if I should be a mother at all :/
missing117user·
Мама дочки (8 лет), беременна (27 нед.)
You should be fine just think positive. My sister was raped by our neighbor when I was in the 4th grade and she was in the 6th grade. She currently have 2 daughters and a son and they all are doing good. You can never prevent something that you don't know will happen. Who would of thought our neighbor someone we grew up with will do such a thing to my sister. Just tell your story bc that will help you heal as well don't keep it in bc it will only make it worse. I'm speaking from what I seen my sister go through. Hope everything works out for you 😘😘
Erika·
В ожидании первенца
They say the stats go high because since you were a victim you'll see it as ok but from what I read I can tell you'll be a great don't worry about what other thinks just teach you daughter from your experiences and she'll know what to tell you and just protect her from other parent and she'll be great just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it will happen to your daughter my mom was raped by her uncle when she was young and went through a lot that you went through but she rised my sister and I really well and told use her experience and told us what to look out for and be aware of and I like to say me and my sister turned out great my sister is finishing dentist school and I am about to graduate as a nurse so you have nothing to worry about 😀
GinaG·
Мама двоих (младенец)
U don't have to become overly paranoid of your dtrs safety you just have to be the same vigilant parent that anyone would be even those who have not gone thru what you've been thru. Don't let statistics rule your world statistics said at 18 and pregnant and single I'd be destined to work minimum wage for life and be on welfare, have several kids back to back and probably not even have graduated HS. I was gifted magnet in HS walked the stage, my oldest is 13 and I have a three week old and I make over 60k a year and I will be graduating with my bachelors next year me and my 13 yr old will graduate together! Had I let "stats" determine my fate I would be lost . Your little girl will be fine be honest and open with her. Be aware of your surroundings just like you would anyway. Anyone with children should try their best to make sure they are in a safe environment around ppl who would do them no harm. Unfortunately no matter how much we may try we can't protect our babies or anyone from everything
Dana·
В ожидании первенца
I believe I've read that bc it can happen in families thus repeat itself if your dad/uncle etc who did it is around. That said you can't worry about something so far in the future that may never happen. I'm sure everything will be okay. Lots of 💙💙💙💙 and positive thoughts for you!
Amanda·
В ожидании первенца
Thanks ladies. I know it's an irrational fear so I'm trying to be positive.