My fiance is super depression, but isn't doing anything to help himself, and is being a real jerk.…

My fiance is super depression, but isn't doing anything to help himself, and is being a real jerk. I've had depression and other issues since I was a kid, it's not that I don't understand, it's that he's being especially hateful to me and it's effecting more than him yet he won't get help or let me help, he's just shutdown. He's screwed up our funds so that has him upset since I'm having to take control so he's saying he's a failure etc. And he won't let me be depressed, but he can do all this and it's allowed, but I do it it's the end of the world. So on top of everything else I'm bending over backwards for him, it hurts.