I just took a pregnancy test and it's positive! But instead of being ecstatic the way I want to be,…

I just took a pregnancy test and it's positive! But instead of being ecstatic the way I want to be, I am freaking out. =/

When I 1st downloaded this app in June I had just found out we were pregnant with our fourth after trying for over a year! We couldn't have been happier. Then almost 7 weeks into that pregnancy, on July 9th, I miscarried. Devastating. Then right before Thanksgiving another little blessing, once again we were ecstatic! I told my closest friends at a pre Thanksgiving dinner & we were planning on telling our families on Thanksgiving but instead of telling them joyful news we had to tell news of another miscarriage. Two days after I told my best girlfriends the wonderful news I had to tell them the tragic news of me losing another baby. It was about a week after we'd found out, I was about 5 weeks along.

So here I am on the morning of another positive pregnancy test and all I can feel is pure terror. Those previous miscarriages are robbing me of the wonderful joyous feeling I want so badly to be experiencing.