I really hope Matthew decides to come early on his own, not too early though, cause I'm so worried…

I really hope Matthew decides to come early on his own, not too early though, cause I'm so worried that with how bad my disc degeneration is getting that if he gets too big (since he's already a really chubby baby) that one day the pain is going to make me collapse and it'll hurt him. It's already almost made me fall a few times, and I get so terrified each time. I want him healthy, but that's why I really hope he comes a bit early because I also keep having horrible dizzy spells where I get really sick and nearly pass out pretty much every time I'm out too long. Even scared the poor pharmacist one time. I'd really rather not get induced though, I'd prefer for him to choose to come.