So dealing with the fact tht my SO won't be here at for my pregnancy he's goin to miss everything !!…

So dealing with the fact tht my SO won't be here at for my pregnancy he's goin to miss everything !! This is our first child together nd i feel like he should really be here for it all..buh he got a job ona cruise line..he's gone for 5mths and here for 5wks-I feel like thts nothin at all..he leaves nxt Monday and won't be bak until May..I'll be in my third trimester by then nd then he leaves after those 5wks (which I'm starting to think I'll have my baby shower then instead of waiting til July like I planned) but then he won't be bak until October nd I'm due August 22 !!! I'm not sure he's gon be able to get tht wk,day,or month off to get bak in town to be here with me when it's time..he's stationed to be all the way in Hawaii..nd I really didn't grow up wit my dad around 24/7 nd I didn't want my child to have to go thru tht buh it seems like I can't change tht either..he has the dream to be a merchant seaman so being on the ship will help greatly towards his career nd I'm not the one to stop him frm doing something thts helpful towards his life n career n I really want the best for him..so I want him to go I'm not keeping him here buh my feelings want me to say otherwise so he can be here physically..I don't wanna seem like I'm a single mom n he's a deadbeat dad who ran frm responsibility or sumthin cause thts not it..buh I jus have mixed feelings towards it all but I will jus have to be in this alone n depend on God to get me thru it...everyone says while he's gone they will stand in his spot n be here for me buh they aren't him n I really could careless for they help n attention like I want his..I jus don kno !!