Being a mom = 12 hours of toddler and being drunk at 8:27pm with 2 glasses of wine. 🍷🍷😂

Cleaning dog poop from the carpet at 6am the week before we move from this apartment. Living the effing dream. 😐💩

She just wants to lay on me and watch Dr. McStuffings... I'm not complaining

My kid's breakfast: dried cranberries. Wth lol

My 22 month old pooped in the potty today for the first time. Growing up so faaaast!!!💩

A 17 year old girl died in Portugal with measles because her parents chose not to vaccinate her.

You're afraid of autism... isn't your kid dyeing worse? Jesus.

Vaccinate. Your. Kids.

PS: this girl had a serious reaction to vaccines and so her parents with the advice of doctors did not further vaccinate her. However, the current movement of anti-vaccination got her in contact with the virus and she died in the hospital due to a deficiency in her immune system to fight the measles virus. If we...

Toddler's new trick: spitting milk on floor while intensely staring at me.

Clean, servant.

Why oh why does my kid like to wake up at 5:45am on Weekends? Sigh 😩😴😴😴

It's a wine for dinner kind of night

Eating my Easter chocolate bunny in the laundry room so I don't have to share with my toddler. #momlife haha