I’ve been having so much trouble trying to maintain three children. My newest baby was completely unexpected I know it sounds crazy but I didn’t even know I was pregnant with her until the day I had her. With my other two I was induced so I’ve never been in natural labor before and I was having contractions didn’t even know they were contractions. I didn’t have a thing for her not diapers , not clothes , not a bed ANYTHING! She was 3 weeks overdue I hadn’t been to a single doctor appointment all because I didn’t know. I had a period my whole pregnancy I got bigger but not much so I thought I was just getting fat. I suffered from post partum depression for the first time after I had her it lasted about a month and I didn’t even realize that’s what I was going through until now that I’m looking back on it. At times I truly want to cry because I’m really doing the best I can and it seems like it’s not enough I’m ashamed that she doesn’t have everything but I am making due. I just want the three of them to be happy.