@kimberlyyyy_the-preemie-mom, Oh I definitely don't mind hearing your story. It's nice to talk to other nicu moms.
We live a couple cities away, but it's still only a fifteen minute drive from our house to the hospital. Everyone who's been helping with our kids lives in the same city as the hospital, so it worked out very well.
Okay.. I'll fill you in. I have a bad back injury. I've had it since 2005, but I only started to have chronic pain since I gave birth two my five-year-old in 2010. I have taken pain medicine since January 2011. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking all pain meds, but in my second trimester the pain got too unbearable and it was either strict bed rest or go back on the meds. It literally felt like my back and hips were breaking. I have three other kids so bed rest is not an option for me. So I went back on the medication. She was supposed to breastfeed immediately after she was born (because there's medicine going through my milk) and then I would slowly introduce formula until she was fully formula fed.. But she ended up having the breathing issues so I wasn't able to feed her for three days and that messed everything up so she ended up on morphine to help with the withdrawal. Once she was able to eat we immediately started breastfeeding her, but she still needs the morphine with my milk on top of it. So now it's just a matter of weaning her off the morphine. We've dropped her dose twice and she has handled it •amazingly•, so we're hopeful and optimistic that she'll be home in two weeks or a little less. I just feel like the worst mom in the world because she's in here because of me.

It doesn't really matter what got baby into the nicu, as long as you're there loving and supporting her. (I don't know how to word that... But you don't want to talk about what other reasons- totally fine, but what matters is you love her and care about her, unlike some families I have (well, haven't) seen in nicus with their babies because they were partying)). But anyway, having other kids must be rough on you momma. I'm sorry. My 4 year old (at the time, he's now 5) son stayed at home with my husband and alternated with him, my mum, and my grandparents while I stayed at a Ronald McDonald house for my 29 weeker's 7 week nicu stay. I had a lot of "alone" time. I think your set up of going home every day was better than mine was, but I lived too far to do constantly be driving back and forth. Enough about my story (unless you want to hear more). I hope she gets to come home soon!!

@kimberlyyyy_the-preemie-mom,

Yeah at least. So she's in here because she was breathing extremely fast when she was born (146 BPM, average is 30-60 BPM) and she's still in here for other reasons. (People pass a lot of judgment so I keep our story to myself, even though it's not because of illegal drugs, partying, or anything like that).
Nicu mom life is no joke. I have three other kids at home so life has been nothing short of chaotic. I'm at the nicu at least once during the day and then I come back around my other kids bedtime (I take them to my mom, dad, or sister's house if my hubby is out of town. If he's home then I obviously just leave as they're all going to bed) and stay all night until late morning or until around 4:30-5:00 in the morning.. Then I get home and either sleep a couple hours and then get up with my other kids or I immediately come home to an awake family and make breakfast and hang out with them until nap time. It really takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and physically.

The nicu always made me tired (then again, I was always there from 3pm to midnight or later), plus add a couple pounds of cuteness sleeping on my chest got me to almost fall asleep constantly (the nicu frowns on things like that, at least mine did). I creeped on your other posts. Usually when I see another nicu mom I assume preemie mom as well, but I see that's not the case with your little one. I saw you said she's off of cpap! Yay! That's awesome! That's a huge step for nicu babies!!!! Congrats momma! So you think she'll be there for another week or two?

*some of those reasons are..
I just realized that I wrote
"All of this is happening to us for a reason and I think one of those reasons is.." And then listed three. Haha. I'm sitting in the NICU right now waiting for Taighlor to wake up to eat and I'm •extremely• tired. My bad.