When you are raised without a mother, it leaves a gaping hole in your heart and when you have children, it multiplies that feeling. 

As a mom who wasn't raised by her mom and who had a lot of male figures ruling her world, I have often felt a bit at a loss and, uncertain in how my role as 'mom' would play out.

Would I do this right?

How would I know how to do things like comforting my kids, potty training and having 'the talk'? 

Over time, I've realized it's all going to be ok and, they will be ok. 

Here are some general rules I live by as a mother without a mother to guide me in my parenting journey. 

Look to Your Village

There is truth in this saying. You are not meant to 'go it alone' in this journey. Seek out other mothers to share the ebbs and flows of motherhood with. Mother-in-laws, grandmothers, aunts, friends, and your social networks like ours in the mom.life app are all resources you should utilize. It's impossible to know everything there is to know and we all need support. Don't be afraid to seek it out. I can't tell you how many times I have found comfort from all of these resources. I recall calling my grandmother when my oldest was a toddler and my husband was deployed, she told me to come down (they lived three hours away) and bring the baby. At the time, I didn't know anyone where we were living and I was in the thick of new motherhood. She knew I needed just a small reprieve. I spent the weekend playing cards with them, seeing old friends and having their company. It was wonderful. 

It's important to say yes to those offers of help and support. It will be your saving grace on those long days and weeks that are a struggle.

{Read more: What's new with the mom.life app? A lot!}

Trust Your Gut

Do not work from a place of fear. You will not fail if you trust what your gut tells you. If you feel yourself working from fear, pause, give yourself time to work down from that moment of anxiety and think on whatever decision you might be making. You ultimately know what's best for you and your child. Then, gather your strength and move ahead with that decision. 

Learn From Their Mistakes

For those of us who are dealing with moms who made big mistakes – it should be seen as an opportunity. We can choose to let those mistakes define us as parents in a negative way or we can learn from them and grow into stronger, better moms. Choose the positive, choose to go for the good and be the best version of yourself and for your kids. Learn from what you didn't have for yourself, so they can have better. 

Fight Imposter Syndrome

It is easy to feel like you don't know what you are doing, that you aren't capable of parenting well because you are entering into this game not certain how to fit into this mom role. Fight off that imposter feeling because all your child wants from you is love and a commitment to being completely present as you guide them through life.

That my friends is enough.

Everyday is an Opportunity

If today didn't go well, there is always tomorrow to start again. Be willing to admit when you've missed the mark – it makes you human. Everyday is an opportunity to grow as a mother and to reconnect on a new level with your child. Don't give up on being the best mom you can. 

Want to meet moms who get it? Download the mom.life app. It's a place where moms are sharing their days chatting benting

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