Your BFF has finally dropped that basketball belly and given birth to the best baby ever.

While you’re not even about that life at the moment, you are so about your bestie and want her to know that you are still her ride or die, even if you do secretly think her baby looks like Gary Sinise and smells an awful lot like his dog.

You have one job: be a friend.

It feels different now, but it’s not -you are still her go to and she still has your back, just like in 7th grade and every day since.

Here are some things you can do that will let her know you still care.

For the Childless Bestie: 10 Ways to Show Your New Mom Friend You Care

Bring Her Food

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The good stuff. Like tacos. And wine.

Tell Her How Cute Her Baby Is

She already knows, but she still likes to hear it. And fix your face when you say it, you know she will know if you’re lying.

Don’t Judge Her Appearance

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Just support her. She knows she could use a shower, she knows she let her hair go, she knows that she should probably be doing crunches and kegels and all of the other things to get her body back. She doesn’t need her hot single friend to remind her, that’s for sure.

Don’t Judge Her Parenting

Just let her live. She won’t listen to you anyway. There is one thing that every new mom realizes the moment they become a mom -they didn’t know crap about crap before. No one truly knows what kind of mother they will be until they actually become a mother. And, even then, you will have days where you’re not entirely sure.

Respect Her Wishes.

Don’t just drop by because you’re dying to see the baby. Call first. Let her have time to put a bra on if she wants to. We both know she won’t want to, but give her the option.

Bring Her a Gift

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It doesn’t even have to be something for baby. In fact, forget about the baby. Bring her a gift for her that you know will hit her in the heart (yes, we’re talking about wine and tacos again).

Act Interested in Her Crumbsnatcher

If you’re a true friend, you will be. But, even if you are having a tough time mustering up enthusiasm over the little person who barfed on you when you met them, you gotta fake it. This is possibly the single most important thing she has ever done. This person means more than her own life to her. So give a care. And, if you can’t, then you probably need to check yourself and how much this person and this friendship even mean to you.

Don’t Subject Her to a Running Commentary of Your Single Girl Life

It’s not just that she’s jealous, I mean after all, she does have this awesome human who loves her unconditionally and is just way more important than any petty loser you’re trying to hook up with on Tinder. It’s just she’s different now. Her priorities are different now. And her life is exhausting and chaotic and overwhelming, so she may not be able to give what she used to give when it comes to helping you decode texts messages or figure out work politics. She’s in keeping-another-human-alive mode right now and it may be taking up a good chunk of her brain space. Don’t get it twisted though, of course you can go to her and share and get advice and even cry about how awful that artist you met at the bar turned out to be. Just ease up. And don’t be offended if she doses off. Or gets interrupted by crying baby face at least 16 times. Oh, and note that she may actually be a little jealous and super lonely, so there’s that too.

Don’t Talk About How Much You Hate Seeing Her Baby on Social Media

Her baby is the best. End of story.

Listen

You don’t have to get it, you just have to be there, like she was for you when that dude you met at the club was stalking you. Just like she will be again when she has her life back in order and can master this whole new mom thing.

Looking for girlfriends who get your new mom life? The mom.life app is the perfect place to make that happen.

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