There is truly no one way to mother.
There is just mothering -we all do the best we can with what we have.
And there’s no she’s better competition about it -all moms can be good moms.
As long as your intentions are good and you’re trying is hard you are doing exactly what you should be for your baby.
End of story.
That said, we can all use a little guidance, reassurance, and bright ideas from time to time.
We are here for that!
10 Things All Good Moms Do
Assumes Good Intent
This is a quote from a great mom friend in my life and it motivates my every day. It means that you assume people, in this case your kids, are trying to be good daily. Don’t start out with the idea that they are bad, give them the benefit of the doubt and your response to them will be better.
Banishes Negative Thoughts
Particularly ones about yourself and your mothering. You can’t be good and doo good if you don’t believe you’re good.
To your body, to your heart, to your gut, to your kids -the things they say and the things they don’t quite say. Good moms rely a lot on intuition and the fine art of “just knowing”. Trusting your gut may not be science, but it tends to work like one.
Starts Fresh Everyday
Because the past is the past and all you can do is learn from it as it informs your future. No need to beat yourself up about the pie you polished off during nap time, it is gone, move on.
Disciplines Without Anger
So hard, but so necessary. Anger clouds your judgement. It makes you make bad choices. It prevents you from seeing the fact. It can’t be a part of your parenting. If you find yourself super angry with your child, and we have all been there, take a beat before you punish. Remove yourself and your child from the situation into a safe place. Think about why you are mad and separate it from what your need to do to be a good parent to your child. Then go back and handle the situation. You and your child will learn more that way.
Builds Self Esteem
With more than just praise. Teaching your child to trust and appreciate herself is about more than complimenting her pretty dress. It is showing her you trust her to make good choices and will be there when she fails.
Because good moms know that they can be wrong, that they can and do make mistakes, and that there is more than one way to get a job done.
Shows and Tells
When it comes to helping your kids understand that you love them, you rely on actions AND words. Kids need to feel loved, but they also need to hear it. They are explicit creatures. Show them you love them with a hug, and tell them you love them with your words. Explain to them what a loving touch looks like and then show them what it feels like. It will help them understand the difference when they are older and someone who says they love them hurts them.
Leads by Example
This is possibly the hardest good mom task of all! We are all humans and humans make mistakes. It is even harder when you know your kids are watching. But good moms accept the challenge and endeavor to be the person they want their children to be. Sometimes we fail, hello humanity! But we get up and try again because they are watching.
Supports Other Moms
And lets her children witness it! Women learn how to be strong, supportive women by having others to follow and men learn how to support strong, supportive women by being raised by them. You can give the gifts of support, kindness, and friendship to your kids by allowing them to see you give it to others!
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