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Everyone's first year of parenting is different, but there are a few things we can all agree on.
When it comes to motherhood, one of those universal laws of mothering is that when you first get started, you will literally spend a number of days just losing your you know what.
Probably it’s the exhaustion. And the hormones and the overwhelming needs of the teeny human whose entire existence depends on you and your ability to get your life right and adult on a regular to semi-regular basis.
It’s hard out there for a mama, especially a new mama who has all kinds of physical, emotional, sometimes psychological things going on.
It’s chaos, basically, and you will spend a lot of moments like this…
When those moments of overwhelming uncertainty hits, here are some things you can know for sure.
First Year of Parenting: Things New Moms Must Know for Sure
You Won’t Break the Baby
It’s amazing how resilient the little things are. It’s almost unbelievable because while they are super teeny and extra fragile, they aren’t really as breakable as they seem. For one, they’re super flexible (we’ve all seen those newborn photos where the baby is wrapped up like a snail), which makes sense when you think about the space they just had to slip through to enter the world. Lots of new moms are afraid of handling the baby because they’re scared they’re going to hurt it. Relax. Proceed with care but know that your little one is also stronger than they look!
Your Baby Needs Very Little
Love. Food. Clean clothing. A place to sleep. Everything else is just icing. And yes, we all love icing, but we can survive without it.
Mom Guilt Is a Waste of Time and Energy
Not sure why this little phenomenon even exists -probably our desire as moms to be the best for our children is what makes us turn on ourselves so harshly. But it is counterproductive to the cause. You spending time beating you up wastes time and energy we all know you don’t have. Plus, it’s ridiculous anyway. You don’t need to feel bad for wanting a nap, or a shower, or a break. You need time away for baby to be your best self. Sometimes you have to work to survive. Or, maybe you really just love your job. Or your hobby. Or your husband. IT DOESN’T MATTER! You love your baby, it’s okay to take some time to also love yourself.
You Have to Do What’s Right for You
Your baby, your family, your life. Doesn’t matter if your mother in law disapproves, or if your mom thinks her way is better, or if all of the mommies at your mommy group do it differently. We all know what they say about opinions. Baby’s happy, you’re happy, everyone’s safe -do you.
It’s Okay to Ask Questions
All of the questions. Your pediatrician is used to it. Call her when you need to and let her earn that salary.
Because, Really, No One Expects You to Know Everything
You’re new. Baby is new. Sure, motherhood is natural, but that doesn’t mean every little thing comes naturally. Give yourself time to learn and a break when you make you mistakes.
It’s Also Okay to Ask for Help
New mom life is no joke, yo. In fact, seasoned mom life is no joke. There will always and forever be days when you really just want to tap out. No, scratch that, not want, need. It doesn’t make you a failure. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you a mother.
Listen, your boobs are not used to this level of interaction. Even if your baby’s latch is perfect, the girls are going to have to toughen up a bit to be able to handle this. And then there’s engorgement. It’s a deep pain that you can feel all the way toy our soul and it happens to everyone. Baby is going to sleep through a feeding eventually and your exhausted brain is going to tell you that skipping a feeding is worth it. It will tell you engorgement is worth it, and maybe it will be right. Regardless, you will suffer.
Your Instincts Are to Be Trusted
It’s like they kick right in when baby is born and they are not to be ignored, or argued with, or doubted.
You Need a Tribe
A real life tribe of supportive people you can turn to when the fact that you haven’t slept, showered, or eaten anything of substance other than a tablespoon of peanut butter in who knows how long starts to tear at you. And, an online tribe isn’t such a bad idea either. In fact, we think it’s a pretty spectacular one! It’s the reason we started mom.life -because we know the struggle of new mom life and we wanted to help be a part of the solution.
Read More: The Truth About Motherhood from real life moms.
Join us: We want to be your tribe! Join mom.life and connect with other moms who are living that life!